Solution Focused Communication

Fletcher Peacock

Needs Focused Communication

Fletcher Peacock is renowned for the quality of his speeches, workshops and seminars, as well as for the publication of his international best-seller ” Water the Flowers Not the Weeds “.

He has continued to deeper in his study of both personal and professional relationships. Building on Marshall Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication ( NVC ), Fletcher Peacock now offers us his own unique synthesis. He proposes a new means of communicating skillfully and effectively which he has named Needs Focused Communication ( NFC ).

The fruits of his explorations and discoveries are collected in a training manual specifically designed to accompany the NFC seminars which Fletcher Peacock is currentlly delivering to groups who have already taken his SFC ( Solution Focused Communication ) course. This course ( SFC ) is, by definition an excellent preparation for the Needs Focused Communication ( NFC ) seminar.

At the same time, the NFC training is also given as a ” stand-alone ” seminar for groups who wish to focus specifically and directly on the theme of emotional intelligence ( EI ).

 What is NFC

  • NFC is a unique, authentic approach to communication
  • A way of thinking, speaking and listening which generates Cooperation and Harmony in our relationships with others and with ourself.
  • This method teaches us to connect deeply with ourself and with others.
  • It invites us to restructure our way of speaking to and hearing others.
  • It is a process which creates a CONNECTION where everyone’s Needs are met.

 

NFC basis principales

  • Behind every human behavior, there are NEEDS which the person is trying to fulfill (the positive intention)
  • It is more important to TALK ABOUT WHAT WE WANT (OUR NEEDS) than to talk about what we do not want
  • We are always doing the best to fulfill our NEEDS (according our current consciousness and abilities : ” our positive intent ” )
  • Everyone’s NEEDS are equally valued
  • People enjoy both CONTRIBUTING to the WELL-BEING of others (fulfilling their NEEDS) and having their own lives enriched (Needs fulfilled) provided there is no obligation or coercion.

 

NFC IS LEARNING TO :

  • IDENTIFY, “Connect with” ( and understand ) feelings and needs: our own and those of others.
  • Create an Inner ( emotional ) security – feel more secure and grounded.
  • Develop an emotional freedom and fluidity wherein we can dare to be real and express ourselves authentically.
  • Transform thought patterns that generate feelings of fear, sadness, anger (shame, depression, guilt).
  • Expressour feelingsWITHOUT Attacking.
  • Receivehostilemessages and criticism WITHOUT taking them personally.
  • Stop judging and feeling judged.
  • Transform anger into a productive and cooperative energy.
  • Transform the desire for approval into an ability to fulfill our own needs.

NFC represents a ” major contribution ” to the development of ” Emotional Intelligence “

Marshall Rosenberg tells us that there are two possible languages :
the langage of the head ( JACKAL ) and the language of the heart ( GIRAFFE )

The Jackal language : The language of the head

 

NFC represents a ” major contribution ” to the development of ” Emotional Intelligence “

JACKAL LANGUAGE : ( THE HEAD )

The JACKAL is close to the ground, it’s vision is limited. It goes up ” into its head “. It judges : ” good / bad “, ” right / wrong “, ” Who’s to blame ? “, ” Who’s guilty “.

The JACKAL does not have a vocabulary of feelings and needs; it speaks only with thoughts, beliefs and opinions ( a mental language ), ” disconnected ” from the heart.

The JACKAL language does not fulfill our deepest needs and often it contributes to a worsening of the situation.

 

 
 

Giraffe language: The ” Heart “

The giraffe symbolizes the langage of ” giving ” and ” receving “.It’s objective is to Connect us with our heart – with ” what’s alive in us ” :our feelings and our needs.

The giraffe has the largest heart of any land animal ( 26 pounds or 11,8 kg ).

It has a long neck ( very tall ) which gives a very broad perspective : the giraffe is able to see the effects of its words and its behavior on others ( and on itself! ).

It has large ” ears ” in order to give ” empathy “.

 

The Giraffe language : HEART and NFC.

  • Connect with ourselves – to listen to what is alive in us (our feelings and needs).
  • Connect with others (their feelings and needs)
  • To Be Authentic et real ( with ourselves and others )

 

THE FOUR STEPS OF NFC MODEL

  • Observation
  • Feelings
  • Needs
  • Requests

Overview of NFC Model

NFC is an authentic language that generates Cooperation and Harmony in relationship with ourselves and with others. It is a (4) step Process:

  • OBSERVATION
    What I observe, hear, sense, perceive (the events, the situation, what the other person says or does, what she doesn’t say or doesn’t do) that ” triggers ” my feelings.
  • FEELINGS
    what this observation triggers, stimulates, reactivates in me emotionally
  • NEEDS
    the true cause of my feelings
  • REQUESTS
    a specific request or action that can meet my needs.

The NFC Speeches, Seminars and Workshops given by Fletcher Peacock, complete SFC ( Solutions Focused Communication ), and help us to establish harmonious relations with ourselves and the others in practicing the GIRAFFE LANGUAGE : EXPRESSING…

 

NFC : FIRST STEP – I EXPRESS

How a “giraffe” expresses itself ?

The giraffe says as honestly as possible ( with clarity and authenticity ) what’s alive in it without criticism ( judgment ) or blame.

In other words :

  • I EXPRESS honestly what I OBSERVE ( see, hear, feel, remember, imagine ).
    Ex. : ” When I hear… “
  • I EXPRESS honestly my FEELINGS
    Ex. : ” I feel…”
  • I EXPRESS honestly my NEEDS / my VALUES Ex. : ” BECAUSE I am needing… “
  • I EXPRESS my present REQUEST…
    Ex. : ” Would you be willing…? ”
    a) … to tell me what you heard me say?
    b) … to tell me how you feel about what I said?
    c) … a concrete / doable / present action?

The NFC Speeches, Seminars and Workshops given by Fletcher Peacock, complete SFC ( Solutions Focused Communication ), and help us to establish harmonious relations with ourselves and the others in practicing the GIRAFFE LANGUAGE : LISTENING…

 

NFC : SECOND STEP – NEEDS

How a “girafe ” listens to someone ?

  • I receive with empathy what is alive in the other person ( WITHOUT hearing criticism ( judgment ) or blame.
  • I try to guess (my best hypothesis about) what the other person ” is OBSERVING / FEELING / NEEDING / REQUESTING

In other words :

  • I receive with empathy what the other person is OBSERVING (hearing, imaging etc.).
    Ex. : ” When you…”
  • I receive with empathy what the other person is FEELING
    Ex. : ” Are you feeling…?”
  • I receive with empathy the NEEDS ( VALUES ) of the other person
    Ex.: ” Because you are needing…? “
  • I receive with empathy the REQUESTS of the other person…
    Ex. : ” Would you like me to… ?
    a) … tell you what I heard you say ?
    b) … tell you how I feel about you said ?
    c) …to take concrete / present action?