Fletcher Peacock is renowned for the quality of his speeches, workshops and seminars, as well as for the publication of his international best-seller ” Water the Flowers Not the Weeds “.

He has continued to deeper in his study of both personal and professional relationships. Building on Marshall Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication ( NVC ), Fletcher Peacock now offers us his own unique synthesis. He proposes a new means of communicating skillfully and effectively which he has named Needs Focused Communication ( NFC ).

The fruits of his explorations and discoveries are collected in a training manual specifically designed to accompany the NFC seminars which Fletcher Peacock is currentlly delivering to groups who have already taken his SFC ( Solution Focused Communication ) course. This course ( SFC ) is, by definition an excellent preparation for the Needs Focused Communication ( NFC ) seminar.

At the same time, the NFC training is also given as a ” stand-alone ” seminar for groups who wish to focus specifically and directly on the theme of emotional intelligence ( EI ).

 What is NFC

• NFC is a unique, authentic approach to communication
• A way of thinking, speaking and listening which generates Cooperation and Harmony in our relationships with others and with ourself.
• This method teaches us to connect deeply with ourself and with others.
• It invites us to restructure our way of speaking to and hearing others.
• It is a process which creates a CONNECTION where everyone’s Needs are met.

 

NFC basis principales

• Behind every human behavior, there are NEEDS which the person is trying to fulfill (the positive intention)
• It is more important to TALK ABOUT WHAT WE WANT (OUR NEEDS) than to talk about what we do not want
• We are always doing the best to fulfill our NEEDS (according our current consciousness and abilities : ” our positive intent ” )
• Everyone’s NEEDS are equally valued
• People enjoy both CONTRIBUTING to the WELL-BEING of others (fulfilling their NEEDS) and having their own lives enriched (Needs fulfilled) provided there is no obligation or coercion.

 

NFC IS LEARNING TO :

• IDENTIFY, “Connect with” ( and understand ) feelings and needs: our own and those of others.
• Create an Inner ( emotional ) security – feel more secure and grounded.
• Develop an emotional freedom and fluidity wherein we can dare to be real and express ourselves authentically.
• Transform thought patterns that generate feelings of fear, sadness, anger (shame, depression, guilt).
• Expressour feelingsWITHOUT Attacking.
• Receivehostilemessages and criticism WITHOUT taking them personally.
• Stop judging and feeling judged.
• Transform anger into a productive and cooperative energy.
• Transform the desire for approval into an ability to fulfill our own needs.

NFC represents a ” major contribution ” to the development of ” Emotional Intelligence “

Marshall Rosenberg tells us that there are two possible languages :
the langage of the head ( JACKAL ) and the language of the heart ( GIRAFFE )

The Jackal language : The language of the head

 

NFC represents a ” major contribution ” to the development of ” Emotional Intelligence “

JACKAL LANGUAGE : ( THE HEAD )

The JACKAL is close to the ground, it’s vision is limited. It goes up ” into its head “. It judges : ” good / bad “, ” right / wrong “, ” Who’s to blame ? “, ” Who’s guilty “.

The JACKAL does not have a vocabulary of feelings and needs; it speaks only with thoughts, beliefs and opinions ( a mental language ), ” disconnected ” from the heart.

The JACKAL language does not fulfill our deepest needs and often it contributes to a worsening of the situation.

 

  

Giraffe language: The ” Heart “

The giraffe symbolizes the langage of ” giving ” and ” receving “.It’s objective is to Connect us with our heart – with ” what’s alive in us ” :our feelings and our needs.

The giraffe has the largest heart of any land animal ( 26 pounds or 11,8 kg ).

It has a long neck ( very tall ) which gives a very broad perspective : the giraffe is able to see the effects of its words and its behavior on others ( and on itself! ).

It has large ” ears ” in order to give ” empathy “.

 

The Giraffe language : HEART and NFC.

• Connect with ourselves – to listen to what is alive in us (our feelings and needs).
• Connect with others (their feelings and needs)
• To Be Authentic et real ( with ourselves and others )

 

THE FOUR STEPS OF NFC MODEL

• Observation
• Feelings
• Needs
• Requests

Overview of NFC Model

NFC is an authentic language that generates Cooperation and Harmony in relationship with ourselves and with others. It is a (4) step Process:

• OBSERVATION
  What I observe, hear, sense, perceive (the events, the situation, what the other person says or does, what she doesn’t say or doesn’t do) that ” triggers ” my feelings.
• FEELINGS
  what this observation triggers, stimulates, reactivates in me emotionally
• NEEDS
  the true cause of my feelings
• REQUESTS
  a specific request or action that can meet my needs.

The NFC Speeches, Seminars and Workshops given by Fletcher Peacock, complete SFC ( Solutions Focused Communication ), and help us to establish harmonious relations with ourselves and the others in practicing the GIRAFFE LANGUAGE : EXPRESSING…

 

NFC : FIRST STEP – I EXPRESS

How a “giraffe” expresses itself ?

The giraffe says as honestly as possible ( with clarity and authenticity ) what’s alive in it without criticism ( judgment ) or blame.

In other words :

• I EXPRESS honestly what I OBSERVE ( see, hear, feel, remember, imagine ).
  Ex. : ” When I hear… “
• I EXPRESS honestly my FEELINGS
  Ex. : ” I feel…”
• I EXPRESS honestly my NEEDS / my VALUES Ex. : ” BECAUSE I am needing… “
• I EXPRESS my present REQUEST…
  Ex. : ” Would you be willing…? ”
  a) … to tell me what you heard me say?
  b) … to tell me how you feel about what I said?
  c) … a concrete / doable / present action?

The NFC Speeches, Seminars and Workshops given by Fletcher Peacock, complete SFC ( Solutions Focused Communication ), and help us to establish harmonious relations with ourselves and the others in practicing the GIRAFFE LANGUAGE : LISTENING…

 

NFC : SECOND STEP – NEEDS

How a “girafe ” listens to someone ?

• I receive with empathy what is alive in the other person ( WITHOUT hearing criticism ( judgment ) or blame.
• I try to guess (my best hypothesis about) what the other person ” is OBSERVING / FEELING / NEEDING / REQUESTING

In other words :

• I receive with empathy what the other person is OBSERVING (hearing, imaging etc.).
  Ex. : ” When you…”
• I receive with empathy what the other person is FEELING
  Ex. : ” Are you feeling…?”
• I receive with empathy the NEEDS ( VALUES ) of the other person
  Ex.: ” Because you are needing…? “
• I receive with empathy the REQUESTS of the other person…
  Ex. : ” Would you like me to… ?
  a) … tell you what I heard you say ?
  b) … tell you how I feel about you said ?
  c) …to take concrete / present action?