Fletcher Peacock is renowned for the quality of his speeches, workshops and seminars, as well as for the publication of his international best-seller ” Water the Flowers Not the Weeds “.
He has continued to deeper in his study of both personal and professional relationships. Building on Marshall Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication ( NVC ), Fletcher Peacock now offers us his own unique synthesis. He proposes a new means of communicating skillfully and effectively which he has named Needs Focused Communication ( NFC ).
The fruits of his explorations and discoveries are collected in a training manual specifically designed to accompany the NFC seminars which Fletcher Peacock is currentlly delivering to groups who have already taken his SFC ( Solution Focused Communication ) course. This course ( SFC ) is, by definition an excellent preparation for the Needs Focused Communication ( NFC ) seminar.
At the same time, the NFC training is also given as a ” stand-alone ” seminar for groups who wish to focus specifically and directly on the theme of emotional intelligence ( EI ).
What is NFC
- NFC is a unique, authentic approach to communication
- A way of thinking, speaking and listening which generates Cooperation and Harmony in our relationships with others and with ourself.
- This method teaches us to connect deeply with ourself and with others.
- It invites us to restructure our way of speaking to and hearing others.
- It is a process which creates a CONNECTION where everyone’s Needs are met.
NFC basis principales
- Behind every human behavior, there are NEEDS which the person is trying to fulfill (the positive intention)
- It is more important to TALK ABOUT WHAT WE WANT (OUR NEEDS) than to talk about what we do not want
- We are always doing the best to fulfill our NEEDS (according our current consciousness and abilities : ” our positive intent ” )
- Everyone’s NEEDS are equally valued
- People enjoy both CONTRIBUTING to the WELL-BEING of others (fulfilling their NEEDS) and having their own lives enriched (Needs fulfilled) provided there is no obligation or coercion.
NFC IS LEARNING TO :
- IDENTIFY, “Connect with” ( and understand ) feelings and needs: our own and those of others.
- Create an Inner ( emotional ) security – feel more secure and grounded.
- Develop an emotional freedom and fluidity wherein we can dare to be real and express ourselves authentically.
- Transform thought patterns that generate feelings of fear, sadness, anger (shame, depression, guilt).
- Expressour feelingsWITHOUT Attacking.
- Receivehostilemessages and criticism WITHOUT taking them personally.
- Stop judging and feeling judged.
- Transform anger into a productive and cooperative energy.
- Transform the desire for approval into an ability to fulfill our own needs.
NFC represents a ” major contribution ” to the development of ” Emotional Intelligence “
Marshall Rosenberg tells us that there are two possible languages :
the langage of the head ( JACKAL ) and the language of the heart ( GIRAFFE )
The Jackal language : The language of the head
NFC represents a ” major contribution ” to the development of ” Emotional Intelligence “
JACKAL LANGUAGE : ( THE HEAD )
The JACKAL is close to the ground, it’s vision is limited. It goes up ” into its head “. It judges : ” good / bad “, ” right / wrong “, ” Who’s to blame ? “, ” Who’s guilty “.
The JACKAL does not have a vocabulary of feelings and needs; it speaks only with thoughts, beliefs and opinions ( a mental language ), ” disconnected ” from the heart.
The JACKAL language does not fulfill our deepest needs and often it contributes to a worsening of the situation.

Giraffe language: The ” Heart “
The giraffe symbolizes the langage of ” giving ” and ” receving “.It’s objective is to Connect us with our heart – with ” what’s alive in us ” :our feelings and our needs. |
The giraffe has the largest heart of any land animal ( 26 pounds or 11,8 kg ).
It has a long neck ( very tall ) which gives a very broad perspective : the giraffe is able to see the effects of its words and its behavior on others ( and on itself! ).
It has large ” ears ” in order to give ” empathy “.
The Giraffe language : HEART and NFC.
- Connect with ourselves – to listen to what is alive in us (our feelings and needs).
- Connect with others (their feelings and needs)
- To Be Authentic et real ( with ourselves and others )
THE FOUR STEPS OF NFC MODEL
- Observation
- Feelings
- Needs
- Requests
Overview of NFC Model
NFC is an authentic language that generates Cooperation and Harmony in relationship with ourselves and with others. It is a (4) step Process:
- OBSERVATION
What I observe, hear, sense, perceive (the events, the situation, what the other person says or does, what she doesn’t say or doesn’t do) that ” triggers ” my feelings. - FEELINGS
what this observation triggers, stimulates, reactivates in me emotionally - NEEDS
the true cause of my feelings - REQUESTS
a specific request or action that can meet my needs.
The NFC Speeches, Seminars and Workshops given by Fletcher Peacock, complete SFC ( Solutions Focused Communication ), and help us to establish harmonious relations with ourselves and the others in practicing the GIRAFFE LANGUAGE : EXPRESSING…
NFC : FIRST STEP – I EXPRESS
How a “giraffe” expresses itself ?
The giraffe says as honestly as possible ( with clarity and authenticity ) what’s alive in it without criticism ( judgment ) or blame.
In other words :
- I EXPRESS honestly what I OBSERVE ( see, hear, feel, remember, imagine ).
Ex. : ” When I hear… “ - I EXPRESS honestly my FEELINGS
Ex. : ” I feel…” - I EXPRESS honestly my NEEDS / my VALUES Ex. : ” BECAUSE I am needing… “
- I EXPRESS my present REQUEST…
Ex. : ” Would you be willing…? ”
a) … to tell me what you heard me say?
b) … to tell me how you feel about what I said?
c) … a concrete / doable / present action?
The NFC Speeches, Seminars and Workshops given by Fletcher Peacock, complete SFC ( Solutions Focused Communication ), and help us to establish harmonious relations with ourselves and the others in practicing the GIRAFFE LANGUAGE : LISTENING…
NFC : SECOND STEP – NEEDS
How a “girafe ” listens to someone ?
- I receive with empathy what is alive in the other person ( WITHOUT hearing criticism ( judgment ) or blame.
- I try to guess (my best hypothesis about) what the other person ” is OBSERVING / FEELING / NEEDING / REQUESTING
In other words :
- I receive with empathy what the other person is OBSERVING (hearing, imaging etc.).
Ex. : ” When you…” - I receive with empathy what the other person is FEELING
Ex. : ” Are you feeling…?” - I receive with empathy the NEEDS ( VALUES ) of the other person
Ex.: ” Because you are needing…? “ - I receive with empathy the REQUESTS of the other person…
Ex. : ” Would you like me to… ?
a) … tell you what I heard you say ?
b) … tell you how I feel about you said ?
c) …to take concrete / present action?